Given that the name of this blog is Homes with Soul, from time to time, I feel guided to share topics that lean our toward our human experiences. This topic is one I explore in a book I’m writing called Goal Getter and in a past post called Moving On. Many have shared with the that there has been a transitory feel to the world this year. Perhaps as a by product of this or just life unfolding as it does, more than a few people in my social circle have ended long term relationships and have switched careers. Whether by choice or not, any of these things can bring on times of inner turmoil. We have all gone through change multiple times during our lives, yet, sometimes it may take longer to understand, need longer to accept, and is much harder to come to terms with.
One of the hardest transitions I have found is, to leave something that no longer serves you. To give yourself permission to move on. To leave something that still is good, even perfect, and exactly what you wanted for a very long time. Something you may have worked very hard to achieve, to keep and to sustain. Something the rest of the world wants you to have, is happy you have it and wants you to keep.
You can apply this to a relationship, a career, anything really. As you can see the emotional journey is the same which ever situation you are in. We have all been here in various ways. The most significant one in my life up until now has been a career move. I worked extremely hard to be afforded the opportunities I had in the teaching world. I took risks, I spoke to people I was scared off, I did my research and brought so many interesting things to my students. We learned a lot and we had fun (most of the time! lol). I showed up for them every single day bringing my A game. I’m not embarrassed to say, I was really good. I could feel myself in the flow, other teachers sought out my advise. Even on the days when I was so tired I couldn’t read out loud to the class because the words wouldn’t come into focus on the page. (Can I get a unified AMEN from the teaching community). I had the job opportunities people said I was lucky to get but I knew it was my hard work and determination that drew those opportunities to me. I was blessed with full time jobs when the rest of the teaching community thought I was crazy for even considering teaching as a career, because “there are no jobs.” I just would think in my head, “That’s your story not mine.” And I got jobs. I did everything in my power to do something I loved, that is a part of who I am and I enjoyed, no matter how much coffee I had to main line.
Then slowing or maybe suddenly, I don’t really know, I simply wanted something else. I came to terms with this painfully over one entire year. Fighting it the whole way, and also working with it, saying I can do real estate part time, during the summer months when I’m not teaching. Right? That will make this all ok again? Won’t it? So the summer came, and the inner battle continued, I started applying for teaching jobs again and I remember sitting at my computer, with shaking hands, and tears welling up in my eyes and this deep feeling of fear washed over me. I’m old enough to know this is my soul screaming, DON’T DO IT!
How could I leave something I love? I worked so hard for? And is truly a part of who I am? Teaching has been nothing but good to me, in fact great to me! There was no wrong doing, no reason for me to switch lanes this way. It even made me happy. I had to learn to tell myself that it was ok, not selfish, to want to be happier. To want something else. To want something more. To just change my mind.
Big take away moment: People evolve. We are ever evolving beings and social norms that have been ingrained in us, served purposes of survival for a great many for a long time but may no longer apply. We have the luxury in this time in history to make choices and decisions that better serve our souls, our destiny and will afford us the development essential for us to expand our being during our lifetimes. Which is what we are hear to do.
Throughout my cross over I thought, how could I be so selfish? How could I throw it all away just to be happier?? But I knew the truth was that I had bigger dreams that simply didn’t fit into the walls of a school building. Why shouldn’t I be happier? Society envelops us in these norms that we try to box ourselves into and all my life I have been forcing myself out of those norms, and breaking all the rules to be true to myself. So why is this any different? In whatever way you are experiencing in this moment, I hope you know that you are not alone, and someone out there understands. You are going to be okay. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
In between it all, or maybe once the dust settles remember to honour what you had. Live your life with love in your heart and good will toward it. What ever it was, it is a part of you, good or bad. Honour the lessons learned, the time spent, the memories. Those things are a part of your history, which is a part of your cellular memory. So by showing respect for the person, place, carrier, or situation you in turn are showing respect for yourself and your history and all those involved.
Try and remind yourself that it doesn’t mean you don’t love it anymore, it simply means your not in love with it any more. The difference might sound small in words, but it’s the biggest feeling in the world.