Blog

When Great Is Not Good Enough

Given that the name of this blog is Homes with Soul, from time to time, I feel guided to share topics that lean our toward our human experiences. This topic is one I explore in a book I’m writing called Goal Getter and in a past post called Moving On. Many have shared with the that there has been a transitory feel to the world this year. Perhaps as a by product of this or just life unfolding as it does, more than a few people in my social circle have ended long term relationships and have switched careers. Whether by choice or not, any of these things can bring on times of inner turmoil. We have all gone through change multiple times during our lives, yet, sometimes it may take longer to understand, need longer to accept, and is  much harder to come to terms with.

One of the hardest transitions I have found is, to leave something that no longer serves you. To give yourself permission to move on. To leave something that still is good, even perfect, and exactly what you wanted for a very long time. Something you may have worked very hard to achieve, to keep and to sustain. Something the rest of the world wants you to have, is happy you have it and wants you to keep.

You can apply this to a relationship, a career, anything really. As you can see the emotional journey is the same which ever situation you are in. We have all been here in various ways. The most significant one in my life up until now has been a career move. I worked extremely hard to be afforded the opportunities I had in the teaching world. I took risks, I spoke to people I was scared off, I did my research and brought so many interesting things to my students. We learned a lot and we had fun (most of the time! lol). I showed up for them every single day bringing my A game. I’m not embarrassed to say, I was really good. I could feel myself in the flow, other teachers sought out my advise. Even on the days when I was so tired I couldn’t read out loud to the class because the words wouldn’t come into focus on the page. (Can I get a unified AMEN from the teaching community). I had the job opportunities people said I was lucky to get but I knew it was my hard work and determination that drew those opportunities to me. I was blessed with full time jobs when the rest of the teaching community thought I was crazy for even considering teaching as a career, because “there are no jobs.” I just would think in my head, “That’s your story not mine.” And I got jobs. I did everything in my power to do something I loved, that is a part of who I am and I enjoyed, no matter how much coffee I had to main line.

Then slowing or maybe suddenly, I don’t really know, I simply wanted something else. I came to terms with this painfully over one entire year. Fighting it the whole way, and also working with it, saying I can do real estate part time, during the summer months when I’m not teaching. Right? That will make this all ok again? Won’t it? So the summer came, and the inner battle continued, I started applying for teaching jobs again and I remember sitting at my computer, with shaking hands, and tears welling up in my eyes and this deep feeling of fear washed over me. I’m old enough to know this is my soul screaming, DON’T DO IT!

How could I leave something I love? I worked so hard for? And is truly a part of who I am? Teaching has been nothing but good to me, in fact great to me! There was no wrong doing, no reason for me to switch lanes this way. It even made me happy. I had to learn to tell myself that it was ok, not selfish, to want to be happier. To want something else. To want something more. To just change my mind.

Big take away moment: People evolve. We are ever evolving beings and social norms that have been ingrained in us, served purposes of survival for a great many for a long time but may no longer apply. We have the luxury in this time in history to make choices and decisions that better serve our souls, our destiny and will afford us the development essential for us to expand our being during our lifetimes. Which is what we are hear to do. 

Throughout my cross over I thought, how could I be so selfish? How could I throw it all away just to be happier?? But I knew the truth was that I had bigger dreams that simply didn’t fit into the walls of a school building. Why shouldn’t I be happier? Society envelops us in these norms that we try to box ourselves into and all my life I have been forcing myself out of those norms, and breaking all the rules to be true to myself. So why is this any different? In whatever way you are experiencing in this moment, I hope you know that you are not alone, and someone out there understands. You are going to be okay. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

In between it all, or maybe once the dust settles remember to honour what you had. Live your life with love in your heart and good will toward it. What ever it was, it is a part of you, good or bad. Honour the lessons learned, the time spent, the memories. Those things are a part of your history, which is a part of your cellular memory. So by showing respect for the person, place, carrier, or situation you in turn are showing respect for yourself and your history and all those involved.

Try and remind yourself that it doesn’t mean you don’t love it anymore, it simply means your not in love with it any more. The difference might sound small in words, but it’s the biggest feeling in the world.

Photo Credit

Your Home As A Reflection


There are few things in this world that hold deep meaning. You could probably count on one hand the most deeply, meaningful people, places or things in your life. Not to take meaning away from other aspects of your life, and not to include any physiological needs, but if you stop and think of the top five deeply meaningful aspects of your life as a whole most people would come up with a list something along the lines of: family and friends, my home, my first pair of dance shoes or hockey skates, my grandfather’s old hat, a letter, or that day on the beach where we ran around in the sand and laughed until it hurt. Most things boil down to how deeply we are touched by a memory. Our current life will often reflect these moments, or special things. We spend time with our loved ones, we keep heirlooms in dark, dry places and we live in our homes.

What we often forget is that those things reflect back onto us as well. We are a double mirror (is there such a thing?) where what is within is reflected without and what is without is reflected within. Still with me? Ok, so your home is one of the most important and deeply meaningful places in your life. It’s the place where you constantly spend the most time, and in spending those hours, minutes, sleeping, eating, laughing, decompressing, playing with your kids and pets, you are creating a reality within those walls. In my opinion it works both ways. The home itself also creates a reality in which you play out your life. So what makes us create the home we live in? What makes us decorate it a certain way or build it a certain way? Well, like the rest of our reality we all have conscious and subconscious beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. The beliefs that help to mold and shape the quality of our lives are our subconscious beliefs. Just like, you are what you eat? You are what you think is just as accurate.

Each of us has shaped our worlds, the way we see our world and the way we perceive our world based on our subconscious beliefs, which came from how we were raised, what we were taught, what we experienced in our lives and all of this lives in our memories which lives in our subconscious, or something like that. We have attached a certain meaning to the events that have taken place in our lives. The things we have attached a good meaning to we want to me reminded of and surrounded by.

Have you ever heard of people who suffer brain traumas, such as a car accident sometimes upon recovery seem like different people and have to recreate their social circles and relationships as their new self. There are many reasons for this, including personality, but how much is related to what they can remember? What lessons did they live and learn through but now have lost? How has this affected their subconscious and in turn their current state of reality. A bit off the rails here, but I have a point, I promise.

If we can agree we are what we think, then we can also agree that our core beliefs become our view of our world, the glasses we see our lives through, to the point where we don’t even realize they are beliefs. These beliefs are so deeply embedded into our energy field that these subconscious beliefs continuously manifest the world we live in. Just as your body projects your energy field all around you, so do your beliefs project into the world. Acting as a magnet or mirror that draw to you what you are putting out there.

In turn, situations, people, opportunities, and basically everything that is congruous with the energy you are putting out is pulled back to you. Which means that your personal world, such as your home, is created by your core beliefs which live in your subconscious. For example, Sacred Space by Denise Linn, shares that if you have a subconscious belief that you can’t trust others, like a projector beaming this belief into the universe, this will continuously occur even when you are calm and peaceful, and will draw people to you who shouldn’t be trusted. Affirming your belief that you can’t trust people.

On a larger scale your home is a living affirmation of what you create. If you want a more abundant life, then you need to create a physical environment in your home that projects this. By changing the home itself, and the template in which you live you are able to draw toward you the things that you want. Using affirmative language can help you to reprogram some deep beliefs that you are aware of that you feel are no longer serving you. A simply and powerful affirmation can sound something like this, “I am safe. I am loved. I am worthy. I am healthy. I am happy.” Even if you don’t feel as though those statements are true, repeat them, let the sound of them seep into your bones, until you start to connect with the meaning of the words, and slowly you will start to embed these as core beliefs. 

Would you like to know more? Leave a comment and let me know if you would like to learn more about how different templates can enhance your home and subsequently your life.

Photo Credit 

Symbols in Your Home

People have used symbols as a way to relate to the world and find meaning and understanding since the beginning of time. Although these symbols have evolved, they carry an energy of their own. Ones that have been used for hundreds, if not thousands of years have strengthened in their power on the etheric planes. Not to get overly technical, but as a quick side note; if you are not familiar with what Etheric planes are; they’re a lot less complicated than they sound. A plane is all the matter in the universe formed by a particular type of atom. For example a human being has five different bodies or worlds, such as causal, mental, emotional, etheric and physical. The Earth itself has these same planes.

The shape of a symbol holds it’s own energy or power. A circle for example represents wholeness and completeness. Every time someone draws a circle holding the intention or concept in their mind of completeness or wholeness it strengthens this symbols meaning on the etheric plane. Different symbols are used for different purposes, you can think of them as a little transmitting station that transmit the meaning of the symbol.

To enhance your home with the power of symbols you can do it as simply as drawing it on a piece of paper, fold it up and place it somewhere. Or purchase art with the symbols included. Sculptures are also a popular way of representing symbols and using their energy in your home.

Here is a very brief breakdown of some popular symbols and what they represent, taken from Sacred Space by Denise Linn.

CIRCLE
One of most potent symbols, it represents eternity, completion, unity, the universe, wholeness, perfections and the Great Mystery.

TRIANGLE
Combined power of past, present and future. Two triangles, with one inverted represents a six-pointed star and constitutes  a symbol for the human soul. This symbol carries the power of protection.

SQUARE
The four elements: air, water, fire, and earth. Also, represents the four directions. It also represents the material world.

INFINITY
This is a very positive cosmic symbol. It can help your home feel very refreshed, and exhilarated.

These are just a very few, and of course there are many more. Some more popular symbols are Metatron’s cube (as shown above), the Circle of Life and the Flower of Life. These are ancient symbols that are often referred to as sacred geometry, they hold a lot of meaning and it depends on what your home needs in that moment. You can try out different symbols by writing them down and leaving them around your house or simply making the shape with your hand while walking around. See if you feel a difference in the energy. 

Original Painting by Daniela Biagi

Reference: Sacred Space by Denise Linn

The Energy Structure of a Home


When it comes to discussing energy as a concept, it can more easily be related to a person. When we think of energy, of taking it or creating it, we often associate that with the actions of a person or being. We can easily see what energy can create. Excitement can be a great example. An excited person is easy to describe. If we dig a bit deeper we might uncover other layers to a person’s energy body. The auras, chakras, mental, emotional, and physical. Even the physical body has layered structures, such as skeletal, organ, vibrational fields, and so on.

A house, as discussed in, Healing Houses Transforming Sick Houses Into Healthy Homes by Sheldon Norberg, reveals that although some similarities lie in comparison to a human body, there are not as many as you might think.

He shares that a house has a “certain flow of energy to it, and while architectural features (or flaws) and directional alignment have a lot to do with it, the most important things are that it is grounded and protected.” Grounding, refers to the actual foundation of the house. Whether it is a solid rock like structure or a fabricated cement foundation or slab. What sounds more secure, sturdy, and permanent? You guessed it, solid rock. Which would make the other options feel the opposite. Similar feelings of precariousness, questionable safety, or “floaty”.

The outside gives off an over all feel, which would be a combo of it’s appearance and protective layers. Walking through the home will give you an overall energy impression, what is the main feeling you get when you walk through? Even, open, hotter colder, disconnected, unified or compromised? Previous owners, dwellers, visitors, will have all left their energetic imprint on the home in some way. Does the house actually feel associated with those who occupy the home or someone else, or this history of the land? A home can even have what Norberg calls an “imbedded attitude” which would be a combination of these factors. Residual energy, which Norberg describes as, directly related to the intensity of the emotional/energetic events that have occurred within the home. This would be related to the home holding an energetic imprint, especially in a home that held persons that were suffering emotionally or physically, such as abuse or illness. These can stick around like a stain on the home’s energy field and are stubborn to get out. Which makes it hard for a new people to “bring in their own energy or develop new contracts with the house for living at their own highest potential.”

Lastly he describes the importance of a home’s “astral address” which is the location of your house in your dreams. We have all had those weird dreams where you are in your house but it doesn’t really look like you house, or you are in another house type building all together but in your dream it’s suppose to be your house. Don’t forget that others will incorporate your house into their dreams at times as well. This is similar to a human being, “the astral body, or the part of us that takes over during sleep. A location from which dream bodies depart and to which the return.” Norberg likeness this concept to a point in which all the people you have relationships with, who have been to your home or have no clue where you live, people who know you or wish to know you more, people who even have nothing to do with your life at all can all enter your home through this point. You can imagine this may not always be pleasant especially when dealing with those who no longer have a body and which they return to the home in somewhat of a direct manner.

These reasons give you a good idea why it’s important to energetically “keep up” your home. My favourite example of this would be, would you wear the same clothes for a year, take a shower and them put them back on? Of course not. But aside from the years of build up, obviously there are other aspects of energy that can be involved that may not have had anything to do with you or anyone you know, yet can still affect how much your enjoy your home.

More on Sheldon Norberg and his services.

Photo Credit

Fear Will Keep You Small

We are all well aware that change is an inevitable part of life. It can be exciting and scary at the same time. Even the best changes aren’t easy. They come with a new set of adjustments and a time period of shifting. Some changes we go through are self imposed, and other times the choice is made for us. But without change, life would stand still. The growing pains we experience with change are uncomfortable and often scary even if done for the better. It has been my experience that even when change seems negative we glean so much learning from it, that we can choose to see it as a positive in some way. It’s in choosing to see that silver lining that we are able to grasp a deeper understanding. Often times learning more about ourselves and others. Everyone, on some level, is searching for a deeper understanding of life, and often it’s because of this search that we often question why things happen. Why them, not me? Why me, not them? Why did it workout that way? Why didn’t it work out? Why me? Why not me? Why?

As of late I have noticed the winds of change have been gusting more fiercely than usual. Many of my friends have found themselves going through the growing pains of change, myself included. Even though in each case their movement is for the better, new job, new, business, new hobby, new home, new city, new lease of life, there still tends to be a sticky  transition period.

Change may not always seem ideal in the moment, as the winds are gusting and blowing leaves in your hair, and dust in your eyes, often, the part we get hung up on the most, is the place we are currently standing. Recently, a friend, who has made the decision to make a career move, called me saying, she could do this now, or wait until after the Christmas parties and maybe she should wait all the way into the new year. New year, new start, right? Wrong. It was even obvious to her that these were just excuses, the prolonging of the inevitable. She was letting fear keep her where she was becuase it was safe, it was comfortable and it was known. I didn’t need to point this out to her, she said, that even as she told me this, and heard the words, she knew she was just looking for an excuse to stay because she was scared. Sometimes it’s easier for us to stay stuck, because we know that space. We understand it, we may not like it but and it takes zero effort for us to stay there. Warm, cozy, but small and not expanding.

Fear is a tricky thing. It’s elusive and often dressed up as “what’s best” for you. It’s main goal is to keep you alive, it’s one of our primal instincts that has kept humans roaming this planet for a long time, but now our fear doesn’t come in a big furry brown package with teeth and fangs ready to gobble us up. It comes in choices. Sometimes steering us away from that short cut through the park (good fear), and sometimes keeping us from living our true potential (bad fear). Luckily we are smart cookies, born with some level of discernment and if we can’t see it hopefully we have a friend or a trusted someone who will see it for us. Sadly, sometimes we don’t see it and others don’t want to get involved and don’t show you.

That’s when you have to get really honest with yourself. This can feel brutal. But deep down you will always know what is best for you. No one else on this Earth can tell you what is best for you, not your parents, not your grandparents, not your siblings, your best friend, your favourite teacher, your family, or coworkers, no one. The only person who in the end, when all is said and done, has to live with the choices you make is, yourself. And no matter how much people want to and try to, no one can help you. You are on your own in this capacity. Which doesn’t mean you have to do things alone, but you have to choose to seek out and find help, such as opinions, all the tools, and resources you can muster, and all hands on deck, but in the end the choice is yours to make. You can do it. I believe that your purpose in your lifetime is to expand and grow or you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t need to be. We all have lessons to learn, places to go and people to learn from. Our existences impacts everyone around us, no matter how little or large.

Fear’s purpose is to keep us small. If you sit down and ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Say it out loud or in your head, or if you like to write, just start writing. The answer will come to you. Recently, I did this, during my time of transition and I had two answers, they were, “I am afraid of being controlled and losing my sense of freedom. I am afraid of wasting time.” Once I had acknowledged and accepted these fears, which looking back has controlled many of my decisions in life, I was able to try and reason with it. Think about how silly this was, and how this couldn’t happen even in the worst of circumstances. I have many career options I have worked hard to obtain, and they will always be my options to have. Nothing can take them away, if want to change it up I can. Freedom. Everything I have done in my life has lead me to this point. No time has been wasted. Time cannot be wasted. This honesty has helped me start to put these fears to rest, or to at the very least stop letting my decisions be shaped by them.

I realized that fear wants to keep us small. It wants us to stay in the safety of the known and not grow or expand. If you don’t try for more you will never have it. If you don’t go after a dream, it cannot be realized. If you stay where you are, you will not live to your highest potential. That should be your greatest fear. At the risk of sounding like an after school special, you were meant for great things. Even if only one person ever benefits, or knows about, or is affected by it. It matters not the size of the impact, as I know that impacts of all sizes are felt throughout the universe, what matters is that you did the thing. You went after it, you tried. Whether or not it all works out, you put your best foot forward, or what might seem like your worst foot forward, you gleaned knowledge about yourself and the world that you would not have known otherwise.

When you opt to stay small and not expanding, you become frozen in time, and this will always leave you miserable. Whether it’s a job, or a relationship, don’t under value your happiness. We are not given this life time to tolerate misery and be joyless. We are here to be happy, find joy, and expand in love. Really, nothing else matters. Of course, there is responsibility. I’m not suggesting you run around recklessly making decisions that purposefully hurt others. Have discernment and enough courage to be honest. If you’re not 100% honest, you’re lying. I am advising to make your choices from the heart, from a place that is truly best for you, no matter how scary it is. What’s best for you is best for those who love you, even if it seems they would be unpleased.

My favourite poem on this topic is by William Ernest Henley. I thought I would leave you with it, it has helped me through many, many changes. Hopefully, this post serves as a virtual high five, you got this! Enjoy! 

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

 

Photo credit: Pintrest

Something Wicked This Way Comes (Part 2)

Ok, so this post is more literal to the title. Part 1 of this post was focused on throwing a Halloween party, and some things I find that help me throw a successful one. Part 2 will be focused on … you guest it… the energy you feel after the party. We want to make sure that only fun memories are left lingering in the corners of your home. Nothing else. I was compelled to write this due to a personal experience I had and would like to avoid in the future. More on that later.

Maybe what I experienced was a result of the time of year. Many different cultures have some sort of background or belief system around Halloween which acknowledges the “other side,” in whichever way shape or form you believe. Also, many believe that the veil (meaning the sort of boundary between the physical world and the non physical world) is thinner at this time as well. Some may be more sensitive than others during this time, to entities that may be around, including children who are less closed off and more accepting and open. They typically haven’t developed judgements or ideas that would sway their feelings and thoughts. 

Generally, I see it as a time to freely eat candy, get dressed up, party and watch scarey movies. We also get into this way sooner than October 31st, we see stores stocking shelves in September with Halloween decor. All this is fun and games until it’s just not anymore. There are certain energies that get… involved….sometimes. It’s not necessarily something “wicked” but again, it’s worth considering that if you are having a party or handing out candy, there are people up in/around your home and they bring lots of “stuff”.

But worst of all you might unknowingly allow in some “stuff” in yourself.

Okay, so I’m just going to get into my story, take what you will from it.

One year I threw a party with a more scary theme, like not overly scary but picture black and purple decor, lots of candles and darkness and sort of old mansion creepiness. I like to call it “fun scary.” I pulled this off on a budget, everything purchased from the dollar store and I used my parents house which is where we were throwing the party that year. So I used the the outside walkway, and front porch, front hallway and first level. It turned out super moody and gave off the exactly feeling I wanted for the theme. It was sooo good! Maybe, a little too good?

We had a fun party, everyone had a blast. But I felt very off toward the end of the night. To be honest I just felt so scared. It was so weird because we had movies on and everyone was just having a good time, good food, good laughs, the atmosphere was the opposite of “scary.” I thought well I don’t do scary movies so maybe, I just feel creeped out from the movie that was playing in the background. Nothing more.

Well I was wrong. I felt so much worse when the party was over. This scared feeling stuck with me for three long days. At night when I was in bed, I kept looking to the top right hand corner of my ceiling. I was overwhelmed with fear. I was also a lot less knowledgable back then as to how to clear my surroundings and feel better. So basically, I would just be scared a lot and wait for it to go away. I thank the who every is in charge “up there” for my on going physical and spiritual safety over my lifetime for helping things “go away” before I knew how to do help the process along.

Even the memory of this still bothers me. I’m not kidding I have sat down to write this multiple times at my home later in the evening and had to stop because I just got so freaked out. So currently it is noon and I’m in a very busy Starbucks. I feel silly even telling this story to be honest, and even want to slide in an “LOL” here but, it is what it is I guess.

Basically, I don’t know what was around me those three days, I just know someone or something was there. And not leaving. Obviously my feelings of fear led me to believe it was a negative energy. But honestly, I have no clue what it was. I just remember waking up it the middle of the night and the word “love” was being repeated over and over in my head. I put my glasses on and looked at the corner of the ceiling and suddenly the fear just went away. I no longer felt scared. I no longer felt watched. I felt back to myself and fine. Again, thank you to whatever was protecting me that night. As they clearly intervened and helped a girl out. From what I understand now, love is the purest form of positive energy, so it would make sense that it was that word that I was hearing. 

Obviously, I have this sensitivity, I understand not everyone shares this. I don’t believe anyone else at that party felt off other than me as far as I know. But even though my experience might be different than the one someone else might experience, my point is, you might not be staring at your ceiling in fear for three days, but you might start arguing with your family or you might do something out of character at work that lands you in hot water. There are many things that effect they way we live, as we are all sentient beings we can all be affected by energies that are around us. Whether we know it’s happening or not.

So clear the space before and after your party. You only want your invited guests to attend and no one else. Also, because everyone is in the Halloween mood and thinking all things creepy for fun, this could call in other things that really are creepy and we don’t want that.

Ok, few. It’s over. Here’s your take home, clear your space, and also keep a level of fun in the air, don’t start talking about real life mysteries (I’m so badly guilty for this any time of the year) or unsolved murders, it just brings up a lot of stuff that might be too much during this time. Enjoy your parties and Happy Halloween!

Image: Original 

Something Wicked This Way Comes, The Halloween Party

It’s time to start planning that yearly Halloween party people! I get just as excited for Halloween as I do for Christmas! So, needless today I like to go all out for Halloween each year. This post is going to be two fold, firstly, I thought I would share a few tips I have found helpful for throwing a really effective Halloween party that makes your guests feel as though they are truly experiencing the theme you set out to create. Whether that them is funny, scary, or other worldly (muhaha). Secondly (found in Part 2), I want to talk about the energy you may be introducing to your home unknowingly when we set up our Halloween bash, but more on that later.

PARTY TIPS (A few things to keep in mind for a successful Halloween Bash)

  1. THEME AND INVITATIONS: You need to decide what you would like your guests to experience this year at your home. Do you want to create a funny party, a scary party, a movie theme, a favourite decade theme? Is it a dinner party or an open house? You can do a custom invite through email using websites like Evite or Punchbowl. I use Evite and I like how easy it is to used something pre-made or make your own, it also has a very easy tracking system for who has accepted the invitation. For general drop in parties create an event on Facebook. 
  2. BUDGET: You can literally create any theme on even the tiniest budget but with a little creativity you can keep your budget pretty low. Or maybe this is the only party you through all year, so you want to go all out and you have a hefty budget.
  3. BUDGETS THAT ARE SMALL YET MIGHTY: Get crafty. Check out what you can find a second had stores, basements, attics, you never know. This is a great way to get your friends involved, ask them to clear out their old work sheds and see what you can all come up with. 
  4. BIG BUDGETS: Go all out! But, keep to a theme, you don’t want it to feel random and carnival like, unless your theme is a haunted carnival, then go nuts, and don’t forget to invite good ol’ Pennywise. 
  5. DOLLAR STORE: Unless you have your heart set on something special from Pottery Barn or Williams Sonoma. Even then you can pick up a few more expensive things but the bulk can be from a dollar store, especially cups, plates, etc. 
  6. DECOR AND AMBIANCE (INDOOR AND OUT): Use sound tracks, you can get wireless speakers from anywhere, even Walmart. Hang cloth or cobwebs from ceilings, including from porches or stoops. 
  7. FOOD: This is another way to get creative with your theme, dry ice, witches brew, treats, hit up Pintrest for this one! I would suggest a signature drink in both alcoholic and non to accommodate every guest. 
  8. GATHER AND FIND IDEAS ONLINE AND IN STORE: make use of websites like Pintrest, but don’t get stuck on one thing. If you see something in a store and your creativity is sparked, go with it, just remember you budget.
  9. MAKE IT IF YOU CAN: DIY is your friend here.
  10. MUSIC SURROUND SOUND or a SILENT MOVIE IN THE BACKGROUND
  11. ADULT ONLY OR KID FRIENDLY (or both on different nights?)
  12. HANDING OUT CANDY: If you decide to have your party after trick-or-treaters have called it a night, then it’s business as usual. If not, maybe leave a bowl out that says “Please take one, Dracula is watching!!” and make one lucky kids night. 
  13. GAMES AND FUN STUFF: Easy is key, guessing games, draws… these are best.

I really like some of the tips that Jillian Harris shares to enhance your Halloween Decor. There are some really good Go-To tips here and these will be sure to help you prep your home for this spooky season. (Click on the picture or the title to link to her page.)

Images: Original
Make up done by Daniela Biagi
Photo Credit: Halloween Decor JillianHarris.com

→ please read part 2, we want the party to last one night, we don’t want any lingering “guests” once the music is off and the party is over.

When a Stranger Calls: How To Survive Open Houses

Happy Friday the 13th people!!  haha Sounds scary right? I remember seeing this horror moving in my highschool English class. Ya, weird right. Well, we all loved it and then my best friend and I decided to rent it to watch during a sleep over that weekend. Probably not the best idea for someone who lives on the edge of fear more than the normal amount like myself, (wait, is there a normal amount?). Needless to say, there are a multitude of stressors, fears, and emotions that come with putting your home up for sale. Everyone has a different reason for doing so but regardless of why your home if for sale, you must go through the paces of selling.

This experience can be a very fun and exciting time but still there are aspects that may make you feel a little uncomfortable. This is your home after all and there will be people walking through it. Strangers, will be walking around your home… judging it, let’s be honest.

Here are a few tips you keep yourself happy and focused during this time.

  1. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE. Remember why you are selling your home. These reasons often help us bring a reality check in when emotions tend to bubble over. Think of your new home and all the benefits it will be providing you. Think of the financial gain and what you are able to do with the money.
  2. TAKE PIECE OF MIND. Stay safe, put anything that is precious to you out of sight or out of the house entirely. Put it in a lock box, in storage, or at a family member’s home, or simply fill up a huge RubberMaid bin and pop it in the trunk of your car when a showing is booked.
  3. SAGE. If you don’t know what this means. See the following posts: Clearing and Cleaning Up for Your Open House and How to Clear a Space or “Sage.” You can also go to a holistic store or even Whole Foods, and buy a sage stick or some loose leaf sage and ask how to use it. Akasha’s Den is great store which has multiple locations and Willow Den as well. Find the store in your area, a google search will help you find one quickly.
  4. FOCUS ON YOUR NEW HOME. There is going to be a “TO DO” list a mile long and lots to take care of. A busy mind is a happy mind!
  5. START TO SEE THE HOME AS NO LONGER YOURS BUT THEIRS. This will help you start to detach from the space and start to see it in a new light. Get excited about how the new family will create fun memories in the house.
  6. TAKE YOUR MEMORIES WITH YOU. Often leaving a home behind, there is a sadness about all the memories that went with it. Remind yourself that there are many memories that you are able to take with you, such as photos, mementos, and of course yourselves. Your memories live on in your heart and are not really attached to the building itself. More about this in my post Moving On.

This doesn’t have to be an awkward time, of strangers traipsing through your sanctuary.  This can be an exciting time, one filled with joy and of closing a chapter sweetly and with grace.

Photo Credit: When A Stranger Calls movie set design 

What Homes and Wedding Dresses Have In Common

When meeting with clients for the first time, I like to make sure everyone is on the same page regarding what budget we have to work with. Many times we have to source out mortgage brokers to help hammer this down. The worst thing a buyer can do is start looking for homes outside of their price range.

I call this the Wedding Dress Syndrome. Think of the show “Say Yes To The Dress.”  For those of you who have purchased a wedding dress, you may see where I’m going with this. For those of your who haven’t, here’s where I’m going with this. When you are on the market for the perfect dress you should only try on dresses you know you can afford. Why? Why not dream and have fun? Why not try on every dress in every store and just have a moment in one you will never own? Because you will put on that dress worth more than your car and entire wardrobe and that dress will do what it was made to do. It was fit perfect, it will look perfect, it will feel perfect and you will be forced to take it off and hand it back with tears in your eyes because you know it will never be yours. And that’s not even the most dangerous part. Worst of all you will never find a dress that will live up to that one. No matter how many you try on in the price range you can afford. You will never be able to get that expensive dress out of your mind. Everything will pale in comparison and you will feel like you have to settle for something less. Sounds fun right?

Not ideal.

The same happens with houses. If your price range is around $600,000 going on showings for homes in the seven or eight hundred thousand range will lead to disappointment, because you WILL see something you like. You will compare every other home to that one. You will probably find something wrong with all the $600,000 houses and this will make your decision much harder.

There is a bright side to Wedding Dress Syndrome. When you do find the perfect house, every other one you see won’t compare. When you find yourself comparing each house with just one, your choice becomes clear. You found your dress! Sounds fun right?

Ideal.

But what about all those times in between perfect and not perfect?

This is the most common scenario as most homes have good and bad qualities. And you become lost in a sea of Pros and Cons lists. How do you decide on which house to buy and make some “alterations” to? Homes that need to be changed slightly are actually better I think in the long run. Any renos or changes you need to make to the home can help you when negotiating price in your favour. Plus the changes you make will be yours. You get to put your personal style into it. Making a choice in this case is when using energy is most useful. What most do to decide on the right one is fall back onto to the top four deciding factors: Location, Budget, Possession time and Age of home. No help right? Of course these are important, but you used those already to get you to where you are now. This is time to feel. This is where energy comes into play. How do you feel in the home? How will you be living in it? What tweaks can you make to each house to make the experience of living there better? This is the time to listen to your heart. And the best part about this is that you do not need to justify your choice! This should be a family decision based on your gut. Do you see yourself having coffee here, watching TV there? Or no? You don’t need a reason for your choice, because you will just know if the setup of the home works well with your energies.

Here are some tips to help you feel your way to the right decision:

A Silent Walk Through

Walk through the home without talking. This might be a tough thing to do if you are with a few people, especially if the agent is with your as they will feel the need to fill the silence and talk about the home. Book a private showing and tell your agent, you would like to do a silent walk through, “I just need time to think through each room.” They will most likely voluntarily stay in the front hall or kitchen, but if they do walk with you, they will understand that silence is good right now. Any person who is clued into others will pick up on your lack of conversation as a sign to zip it. But if they don’t, just  kindly let them know. Say “Sorry, I just am trying to plan out in my head where my furniture is going to go.” or something along the lines of “I need this time to think this through so shutty.”  This can feel forced, but silent time to think is very powerful, and we simply don’t get enough of it. It’s important because It allows your true feelings to come forward. Once you leave the home discuss your experience with your family at length. It might feel odd walking through and not talking at first, but you will be able to just fall into thought and won’t notice. Also, take off into different directions of the home, spread out, you don’t have to go through each room together. One goes this way, one goes that, and just walk around to what you want to see first. As a last resort book your showings separately. Only do this if it is between two houses, or even one house. You don’t want to waste homeowners time or the agents time, booking two showings per house.

Don’t Ask for Outsider’s Opinions

This will cloud your judgement and make you second guess your gut feelings. Trust yourself and your family. Afterall, you are the ones who will be living there. Especially, if you have children. This is a time when you really want to listen to them as they are the most open energetically. They may not really like the house or feel like the can’t run around freely. If your kids are sticking to your side more than normal, take that into consideration. Ask them if they want to go pick out a favourite bedroom, see if they will just take off and explore the home alone. If they feel comfortable enough to do this you are most likely in the clear. If they don’t feel comfortable in the space, relax, it’s not haunted (most likely), there are many reasons for this, and a lot of it has to do with the actual setup of the home being open and positive or closed off and negative. Many people use Fung Shui to help with this aspect. Unless, you kid runs up to you like, “I picked my new bedroom and there is a boy in there named Timmy who likes to play ball. Yay!” Then, ya, it’s haunted.  

Notice your Behaviour

During your conversation if you settled into a room and comfortably talk there, feeling “at home” already, that can be a good indicator too. Remember there need not be a rhyme or reason for your choice.  

You can always revisit you Pros and Cons list after you make your final choice with your agent and privately to solidify your decision. Keep the lines of communication open and feel your way into your new home. Happy house hunting!

If you would like a Realtor who can help you with your holistic home needs feel free to email me in the Contact section of the site.

Photo Credit: Spell and The Gypsy Collective

How to Clear a Space or “Sage”

Throughout this blog I often mention that clearing the negative or unwanted energy from a space is helpful in living your best life. I often will say to “sage” or clear a space. There are many ways of doing this, and many beliefs around this. I want to tread lightly here and be respectful of all belief systems. I can only speak from my experience and what I have done up to this point. So, basically I will speak from my personal experience which might give you a few general tips and also where to find more information.

I basically began seeking out ways to clear a space based on the different energies I was picking up on around me during different times of the year, or day, or basically any time. As I got older I began to understand that my intuitive nature was the reason I could pick up on things and I began to realize a lot of my feelings of anxiety or fears stemmed from this characteristic. It is something I just lived with, and basically took for granted, it wasn’t until late in my 20s when I started to realize that not everyone was bothered by the same things I felt that I was. It became harder to ignore and I went on a search to learn more about this. Not highly uncommon. I would even venture to say more common than not, many people have a sense of their intuition to varying degrees. I am by no means a physic or a medium by any stretch. Essentially my environment, which was always important to me, I realized became something I could actively keep and maintain. Doing these things allows for the best possible experience and helps keep me from seeing or hearing things at would startle me or make me uncomfortable.

As far as the home goes, I learned from various sources how to use herbs such as sage leaves, and many other types of plants, and essential oils like lavender, to clear the space of what I understood as old, dusty, unwanted energy and leave it feeling fresher and more free. I felt that this was helpful to my living in a space, and sleeping soundly. This along with many other types of practices help keep my environment peaceful, relaxed and fresh. 

I start with a small process before I light the sage. Then I surround myself with the smoke from the smolder of the sage, and walk through my whole house basically outlining each door, corner, window with it. I usually let my intuition guide me to where I need to be and to focus my cleansing and I also allow my intuition to land on what ever prayer or intent I need to do what needs to be done. Each time I do this it’s different, there is no one way I do it, but I do always work in the light and protection of God and any spirit guides or archangels sent to work with me.

At this point I have performed this cleansing many times for myself and others. I sometimes take for granted the effects as I know the outcome. I often hear that those who I have done this for have experienced positive effects in their homes, and lives as a result and I hope it inspires others to try it out themselves. I feel like this helps foster a relationship with the space and your home that is unique to you and helps fill your home with your energy. I feel like my home is very peaceful and cozy and it’s the first thing I hear when someone comes over, they always comment on how cozy my home feels. It’s worth a try and there are many resources to help you.

Many stores sell the tools you need to do a clearing of your own and the people who work there are very helpful. I love Akasha’s Den and Willow Den. These would be my top two places. But there are countless others. Please be sure to go to a store that is reputable, with people who have good intentions and correct information. I can stand by these two stores as I have frequented them many times myself and know for certain the employees are kind, knowledgeable, honest and helpful. Ask around and read reviews, and always trust your gut. If you walk into an establishment and it just feel uncomfortable and not right. Leave. Listen to yourself.

There are of course many books you can find at your public library or book store which can help you. Do your research and see what makes the most sense to you, what resonates with you the most, is usually what you need. Have discernment. Good people will lead you to good people. And please do not listen to anyone who advises you to pay them a large lump sum of money to remove negative energy or curses from you. Just don’t incorporate this practice into your life and happy clearing!

Original images.