This One’s For The Captains

This one’s for the risk takers. The seekers. Travelers. Fordgers. The ones who aren’t afraid to make bold moves, shake things up and take chances. The ones that are afraid and do it anyway. Who pick up and move to a new city, old city, or new home. The ones who put security on hold for something unknown. The best thing about you all, is you are usually the believers, the dreamers and the game changers. You are the ones who soldier on when things don’t seem clear or definite and you don’t have everything figured out. You are the ones that reach for more, that wander to the top of the mountain to see what is on the other side. You have the courage to move forward even though you’re scared. You take fear along for the ride. Then pitch your tent somewhere and say, “this is good for right now.” You, who are the captain of your ship.

This one’s for you. 

Moving, for some, means living a newness. It can be hard. Whether your moving to a new job, a new career, a new hobby, a new country, or new home. A move is a move and it’s not easy. I have moved many times to new cities. Most of the time not knowing much about where I am going, or what the area is like, but choosing a place and taking up shop, so to speak. All of my moves were motivated by work opportunities. I have moved countless times, within familiar areas, but, the past 5 years I have found myself moving twice, to two areas that were completely foreign to me in every way. Which doesn’t really allow for enough time to bloom where you’re planted. It takes time to find your way around, find friends in the area, and activities to enjoy. The different aspects the area has to offer, all take time to discover.

I found that it can be hard to get motivated to invest my time actually living there and enjoying my surroundings. This is how I felt when I didn’t feel like where I was, was my forever home. Can anyone out there relate? Maybe it’s just me, but it’s hard to get totally comfortable and settled when you have your gaze fixed in the future, on the horizon, that will inevitably find you, yet again in a new area. This makes things difficult because it challenges your inner sense of security. You, Captain, don’t get to enjoy that calm, peaceful, homey feel you get from a forever home. The same grocery stores and Shoppers Drug Marts and all the other aspects of your corner of your city that become constants, and extensions of your home. And what I really mean by home, is your life. So your life can feel uprooted, unknown, fluid.

Being the Captain of your own ship has perks. Don’t get me wrong. You enjoy a freedom that is unknown to many people, just like the security they have in their knowingness, is unknown to you. Your life is the adventurous version of living, for sure. But the cost is, you can feel like you’re floating around at sea, constantly looking for shore. So at times you can feel like it’s lose-lose and at times you can feel like it’s win-win and this polarized way of living takes guts. Not as common and not many people can relate how you feel to have your next impending move in the horizon, or at least be thinking about it.

Which begs the question, do I bother getting settled here at all? Well, if you rent or own, that is a tough question. Intellectually the answer is easy as pie. Of course you settle in! What else would you do? But then knowing the right answer and doing the right thing are completely different animals. I can’t tell you how many nights I had to stay in, because you’re not that crazy about living where you ended up, and this makes it harder to meet new people, and then you don’t want to go out alone, and you don’t want to meet new people because you really want to move. Vicious cycle. So you move and have to start from scratch. Again. Because it’s the less common thing to do, it can be very isolating. I often field the question, “So, where are you living now?” 

It takes a steady hand to weather the storms. But you’re doing it, your trying new things you’re reaching out, you’re doing the things that most people will not. You’re living new experiences and becoming more interesting. How can that be a bad thing? You may feel tempted to compare yourself to others, which can be dangerous. Maybe you might feel that staying put offers a sense of security you would like to have at times. But those people might be longingly looking at you and thinking your life is carefree and your adventures are fun, and exciting. The grass is always greener.

You have to find ways to make the home you have, one that you love. One that provides you with the feeling of home you need. One that creates that loving feeling for you. Because your home, truly is where YOU are. And that can be anywhere. I will never forget walking down Yonge street in downtown Toronto during my university days, during the Christmas season, and seeing the beautiful displays in the Eaton Centre and The Bay windows, and feeling more at home than I have ever felt, and I lived in a dorm.

Take the things you love and surround yourself with them. Make your space beautiful, or full of family photos or your favourite scented candles. Curl up with a good book, or tv show and breath. Relax. Find a local pub or knitting club and just go. Even just if you go once. Each day should have one moment in it where you enjoy a connection with another person or place.  Home isn’t around the corner. It’s where you are right now, and if that changes? Well there’s a whole ocean out there. Move.  

Original Image: Grand Bend, Ontario, August 2017

If you would like a Realtor who can help you with your holistic home needs feel free to email me in the Contact section of the site.